Sunday, October 10, 2010

Working it out...

I recently joined the rest of America and ordered cable TV, mostly because of the mass switch to digital and the hassle of getting a box to figure out seemed hard, at least that is my excuse, and I remember feeling like there wasn't anything that I was missing on cable, but I was wrong

There is the most wonderful reality show, and I normally detest reality shows of any kind, but this one was awe inspiring. It was called Work Of Art, a reality show on A&E (I think) and it showed real artists competing for a chance at $100,000. And fame of course.

I found myself in awe, watching the artists work in various mediums, reaching in and trying to translate feeling into art. Oh and I also found myself laughing at all of their rather large EGOS, so funny how I have seen that before with other artists and thought it odd, but in fact its quite common for creative beings to think they are the only true artist that they know. LOL

I felt so very inspired by the works I saw. The first one, in fact, was the one they had to send in to enter the competition, they had to create "self portraits" meaning in any medium they had to send in a piece that represented them.
I realized that I have never made anything like a self portrait and quickly felt what it was I wanted to make and how important it would be to me....

I started a self portrait. A mixed media piece of course, and though it started out easy, I quickly started recalling how I came to be the way I am and all the pain I have had to over come and opening these topics revealed that there was so much more that I haven't healed from yet. In between my home repair projects I have been working on this:

It is evolving and near completion.

Oddly enough as I work on this house and this piece I am feeling something quite unexpected.

I am feeling Healing...

But much deeper healing than I have ever felt before. Its like changing my old, neglected home at the same time addressing my old, neglected wounds and making them better, stronger and more beautiful than this is all somehow connected.

So now that I am near the completion of this piece I suddenly see the world as a more beautiful place than ever.
This mornings beautiful sky seemed to agree.

I believe that most artists, especially early on, lack the self confidence and self awareness to even think of creating a piece that represents themselves only. At least that was my experience and this project was like a HUGE sign that I am now ready.
Though my piece is a likeness of my face, it combines and depicts myself younger and older, destructive and more creative, destroyed and in peace. These are the things that I am currently. I accept this vast array of feelings as my own truth and I make it work for me. There is so much more represented in this piece and I would go into detail but somehow I feel that from now on these things are spoken in the art and do not need to be discussed in detail any further. They are there. They make part of me. They are reconciled within. And that is all that truly ever matters.

How's that for art therapy?

Try it. In some way, if you dare, and see what it is that you learn about what makes you. I hope it brings you peace and joy as it has for me.



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