Sunday, April 22, 2012

painting in a new/old style & being modified

Well since my last post I have to say again Art healed me it saved me from the usual pity party and temptation to put myself up for adoption at this age. As art never fails to do for me...but this time in a NEW way.  I am in most ways, an old fashioned girl. I consider myself spiritual more than religious. Very few things can I do "religiously" one being religion. I am a Christian. I believe there is a great God that loves me. And, much to the argument of my pentecostal relatives, I believe now God loves me now that I have been modified.....artistically.

I, at age 34, got my first tattoo. *checks that off 'bucket list'*


This is me I was concentrating on breathing as the first lines were stuck in...OUCH! **Breathe in**Breathe out**  I got tattooed by the coolest tattoo artist in town Jerrett of Electric Church Tattoo.

 I have always LOVED and admired tattoos on people. Certain ones have gripped my heart for a moment and then faded. For years and years I have wanted to get a tattoo but could never decide on one that I would want. Its pretty permanent, mind you, and also I really wanted it to have some deep meaning. I am not one that just gets a tattoo for shits and giggles. Its all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits...I don't know what that has to do with the tattoo story but I saw it on facebook and it cracks me up.....anyways back to my tattoo....

The shading is the other most painful part but its not all that bad.

 So I have a teenaged daughter now. My darling oldest daughter is 14 years old. People say girls are harder than boys as teenager and I have to agree. My only son is 15 and he is amazingly mellow. He takes advice without getting all pissy about ALREADY knowing everything. He rarely slips on his schoolwork, getting all A's and B's in the gifted program at school and he is just super responsible. Which means he, quite inadvertently, set the bar for teenage behavior around here HIGH.
  Then there is my daughter Savannah, that we lovingly call Nanni or Birdie. (Her brother called her Nanni when they were toddlers because 'Savannah' was a mouthful for him. My husband and I call her 'Birdie' or 'NanniBird' because as a toddler she would shove food in her cheeks and open her mouth for more much like a baby bird.)
 Nanni is a LOT like her mother. And that is the problem in a nutshell. I too once thought that people were all just like me and never saw danger coming, always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, thought I could really save the unloved and troubled people of this world and NEVER trusted my gut instinct.  Lord knows I have paid for such ignorance. Have had my heart broken, my self esteem ripped to shreds, been humiliated, deeply hurt and have learned a whole lot, really fast, about having to be strong, not giving up and a lot about having to move forward through difficulty and having to do it alone.

 I see this same ignorance in her when it comes to boys. Good grief it seems the more troubled he is the more she likes him! So needless to go in in detail, we have had our battles. I stuck to my beliefs and EVERY time the boy couldn't wait for moms approval and moved on to the next victim and she would come back to me and say "you were so right about 'so and so' Mom", realizing that it wasn't her per say that he wanted to be with but her crotch. And well other girls have vaginas so he just went and found one that wasn't guarded by parents... Middle school has changed a lot since I was there!

  And the scene was replayed a couple of times and I am sure it isn't all done yet but she knows now that Momma and Daddy don't give up. We are on her side and we will get all up in her business and tell her the straight truth on what boys really want and what she thinks they want....2 different things! We are always on her side and will make sure she is watching out for herself or will do all the watching if she refuses to. 

Tough stuff. But she is worth it. I've never loved someone so much to make sure she gets through life as un-scarred and with the most idyllic life as possible. Kids do that to you. Even I am surprised at how much I really and truly care about their quality of life and how they will look back and remember life.

So one day, I saw this fat little cartoon baby birdie and instantly it made me think of my precious NanniBird. She is amazing, and Like the tattoo itself she has caused me a bit of pain as a teenager, but again- like that tattoo, she has made me better. So after a few months of still being in love with this idea as a tattoo I had it done. She and the tattoo are similar and both a part of me. It brought so many aspects of my life together, it was an amazing experience in this artistic heart of mine. I can't wait to get more! Some for the rest of my kids and for my love- my husband RL, and some just for me. So many ideas are flowing.
The day I got it, all fresh and bloody...lol

 So I started sketching one out that I imagined. and it became art. A new form for me to work with on a canvas or wood but I have always worked with the tattoo style and anything that looks like a vintage ad. Its just the first time that my mixed media passion and my vintage tattoo style have met and they are in love!


beginning to sketch



a bit of color and then I thought it needed some Roses



and voila! She is done! and hanging in my very pink and wonderful sewing room.


Now I have purchased cut and sanded a LARGE plank of birch wood and I am working on sketching today. If all goes as planned this one is gonna be the largest piece that I have ever done (excluding walls that I have painted on) and this will converge my new found "art" vintage advertising/ tattoo type stuff....yeah thats the ticket!

So I am off... to build myself up in paint and pencil and art. Gosh I feel so much better about everything. Kinda like, at all the people and events that ever hurt me are forgotten....this is what art can do!

Be back soon!

xoxo

Gigi







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